So......

So......

Time with Family really gets you to thinking, Life is so precious , every moment is a memory your creating for yourself, your friends, your children all just logging in that day to the memory bank and it becomes something you look back on when your a little older or in a spark of a conversation. This year as I was holding my sons hand and watching the fireworks in the sky, I thought about how quickly life has changed from last year to this year, in and out of love, lost love, children aged another year, I aged another year, graduations, babies, death, holidays, so much has happen and so much has just slipped through my fingers, fallen in the cracks per say. I thought about how badly I hold one person dear to my heart, how somewhere out there that person is watching different set of fireworks, looking at the same sky and for life of me I have no idea if I cross that persons mind. Lost in that moment my sons squeezes my hand and he pulls me down and says "Mommy you know what is the best about this day?" I said "What baby, what is so good about this day?" He pulled me closer and said " You" and he gave me a big kiss. He in that very second reminded me that where I was is just as important as where I dream to be, that whatever mistakes I made, whatever has kept me away from where my heart longs to be gave me him, Shelby and Kayla, I remembered that Independence is something I have longed for my whole life, to be able to feel comfortable just being me, that someone will see me for who am i am and know that they wouldn't change anything about my life because my three kids are what make ups so much of me. I remember that now is the time to find my strength, to recompose the elements that are me, achieve my goals and love me whether my soul mate is here or not. This weekend, this independence day I realized that this is the start of creating a stronger me, with more self worth and determination in this life then ever presented before. I hope that where ever Arizona may be, whatever she maybe doing, I hope she has found happiness, strength and knows that I wish her only the best.

I start my list tomorrow I hope to start knocking one off every week.... Wish me luck! :)