How do you.....

How do you look to the future, without looking in the past.... A question I am sure we all have asked ourselves at one point or another but the reality is can our past often haunts us, and sometimes we just pull it from the grave we buried it in at one time and beg for it to haunt us lol. For me my past has been hand in hand with every step that has created my future. I have had some serious struggles that have brought me strength in times of weakness I find myself looking at moments that were much worse and pulling strength to move forward through whatever is making me feel weak. How is it somethings in your past can bring you strength and some can bring you to your knees....
I find myself after finally realizing that I have to let go of my past and wondering...
A. how and the heck am I going to let go of something that still holds so much of my heart and
B. how and the heck did my past let go so easily of me...

Which brings me to how do people who say they love you and then just wake up one morning and walk out on you, cheat on you, tell you its not working it out or not even say anything at all , one moment in your life and the next gone? How do people you have created memories with, children, homes, life just be gone in a blink of an eye? How can those people bury it and not look back and others feel it so deeply it affects they're ability to breath in and out everyday. I know every persons make up is different, some people are emotional, some angry, some no emotion, always happy, creative well you get the point. I guess I am just one that feels like every person in my life has played a role and is so hard for me to let go, the relationships effect me so deeply, that even years later it still crosses my mind, makes me wonder, what if? My best friend told me to day "that you will always have a place in your heart for the person you love and can't have but sometimes you have some how find a way to accept that and realize that now it become just a memory" . When she said this to me it just kind of hit home, and she is right any of us who love someone can hold on, we pick up the phone and text them, call them, write them and still love them, even when you lose someone to death you hold on and hold on but really you can only hold on to a memory because if they can't or wont hold on back your really just fighting with yourself for the memories you already have. After a while when life doesn't connect its dots, you have to just take it in and accept the moments you had, and turn them into memories you will cherish, say whatever last words you need to and wolah your letting go. It might not be buried or silent and maybe you went kicking all the way down the road to letting go but the moment you realize that the dots just aren't connecting anymore you do, you let go but amazingly you will be at the end of the road and find the strength to start a new one. She made me realize this today:
For sometime my dots have not been connecting and i have been holding on to someone who clearly has not been holding on back and I have had really amazing moments when that person did, but its time to realize that I have to let go and hold onto only the memories. I did that today, I reached out one final time with no grasp back and I let go, I feel okay with it, I am filing my memories, sending my love and saying goodbye and I don't feel bad or like I have done something wrong but know that I am making a huge step towards my future. I know that I cannot make that picture that envisioned with this person because that took two people who are committed but by myself I can envision a new picture and create it by myself!!!! Shortly after I made this choice I got some amazing news that the pictures I posted yesterday and the new ones of baby Cayden are really getting some positive feedback, I am already getting people asking for my information and wanted to schedule shoots, So maybe the one thing that has stuck through my past to my future for as long as I can remember will be my new adventure LMCI PHOTOGRAPHY :)!!!


Horoscope today :
All of your hard work and planning is finally starting to pay off for you in some major ways! But you need to keep going. Go the distance, and don't take your eye of the ball or slow your roll. You are so close to what you want right now that if you take even the slightest break from the action you could be making a huge mistake. You can take a nap some other day. Right now, you'll be having way too much fun to want to stop what you're doing anyway.

I think its a sign!!!! I so believe in signs!!